Where to begin?

It seems that everyone around me is pregnant. My first nephew was just born, my second nephew/niece is on the way and my cousin Nic's mom recently announced to the family that she was going to be a grandma. She also said that Willy, Nic's brother, was close behind with his new wife. My host-brother is expecting his first and my host-sister just had her second. My friend Dave and other friend Quinn are also expecting.

Whats a person to do? My only hope is that the durable goods I am gifting to all of these babies are hand-me-backed when ever I finally get to that (baby kicking me in the bladder) point in my life.

Before it was babies it was friends marrying off; I went through two full sets of friends in three years due to people marrying and moving off to be with their loved one. Some how wedding presents are cheaper than baby presents. I think its because the couple will actually use the item for years to come where as onesy is only going to be used until the little one out grows it, without ever getting a grass stain on it or snagging it on a fence.

Perhaps I am a bit jealous, but recent baby holding experiments have shown me that if I can't give a fussing baby back, I'll probably go nuts trying to calm it. I have trouble taking care of myself and now a husband who will likely need picking up after once he moves in with me. To add a baby to that mix; it seems like suicide waiting to happen.

Which brings up the perpetual question of what do you mean when your husband moves in? We have been married since July and have only spent weekends and the like together since then. Our longest time together has been this holiday week. The up side is it took us almost 6 months to have our first spat, but the down side is I still don't really know him as anything other than a weekend guest.

His biologic clock has been going off for years and all of the recent additions in our family circle have made it worse for him. Now that his sister has so kindly begun the task of providing the first grandbaby he has lessened the frequency of asking. For a time it was an insistent drone of can we, huh, huh, can we, can we? The house spouse discussion has also gone full circle, before we married he was willing to be the stay-at-home parent, now though he seems to think he wants to be the one that stays at work, which is fine except I am pretty sure I would go stir crazy being with the baby all day, or become a shop-aholic, or develop some other self destructive neurosis. The thought of staying home with a little one feels like a cage that I'll be pacing the perimeter of. At the same time he may be feeling the same way about staying with the kid. Job sharing is an idea, but neither of us is qualified to do the others job. Nor can we really afford to be a one income family.

Not to mention the modern marvel of paying more for food grown in CA while living here than others pay for it after its been trucked to them. The same avocados they charge over a dollar for here can be purchased for 69 cents in Oregon and 99 cents in Utah. Almonds grown and processed in this and neighboring counties $8/lb other places its $4/lb. Apples $1.30/lb for galas, in Oregon $.99/lb. With these prices we need both of our incomes to afford a house and food on the table.


Which brings me back to the baby thought. Granted the little ones don't eat much their first year, but they need new wardrobes and furniture and toys. I'm pretty sure that while practical, a cardboard box with extra t-shirts folded to make a mattress would be frowned on as baby's first bed. I'm not sure how my friends and family are affording their new ones, but I have to say I am impressed. Yes I have heard that no-one can really afford to have a baby, but it would be nice to be able to afford ourselves, financially and emotionally, before adding a little one.